funny quoteFunny Quote?

does anybody have any suggestions on some funny quotes? i will accept any. thanks guys ^_^
custard won't stick to a cieling////////
A famous quote;

"Time heals all wounds." - Anon.

After many bad experiences I thought about Kharma (what goes around comes around) and added:

"Time wounds all heels."

So:
"Time heals all wounds. And, time wounds all heels."
when angry count 4, when very angry swear...马克 Twain

the trouble with unemployment is that the moment you get up in the morning you are on the job....Slappy White

Have you noticed all the people in favour of birth control are already born.....Benny Hill

All animals are equal but some animals are more eqfunny quoteual than others....George Orwell

I'm not afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens....Woody Allen
"i learned sumthin wen i went to LA.u can't wear colors! once i wore red i got beat up by a gang.another day i wore blue and got beat up by another gang.the next day i wore plaids and the golfers beat the heck outta me!" - prince of bel-air
A friend to my Chem teacher "So Mr. Do you watch Desperate Houswives?"
Chem Teacher "God no, then i would realise how much i am being ripped off". (We thought it was funny but maybe you had to be there to hear him say it)
Why is the king of hearts sticking a knife through his head?

Last night I looked up saw the stafunny quoters and wondored where the hell is the ceiling

My only excuse for not turning in hw is that I couldn't copy off anyone

lol hope this helps

XP
"COCAINES a HELL OF A DRUG" dave chapell
"if i had a million dollars, we wouldnt have to eat kraft dinners, but we would." Bare Naked Ladies
"im getting backdoored here" John Gotti
What do peeves eat? Where can i buy the food? Do they make good pets? Can they be neutered?





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"The Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
-马克 Twain
"the bell rings in two minutes so u've got 180 seconds to finish up your tests" my english teacher